Many people believe their reactions are choices.
They aren’t.
Most reactions are habits learned long before adulthood. We don’t remember when we learned them — only that they feel automatic.
I’ve seen this again and again. Someone who freezes when asked to speak. Someone who feels anxious when things go well, as if waiting for something to go wrong. Someone who feels responsible for everything and everyone.
When I ask gently, “Has it always felt this way?”
The answer is often yes.
These patterns usually began as protection. A way to stay safe, loved, or unnoticed when that was necessary. The problem is that the subconscious does not know when to stop protecting us.
It keeps using old maps in new terrain.
In hypnotherapy, my role is not to analyse the past or dig up memories. It is simply to help the subconscious recognise that the present is different. That the person sitting here now has choices they didn’t have before.
When that realisation lands — not intellectually, but internally — people change without effort.
They speak more freely.
They breathe more deeply.
They stop apologising for existing.
And they often say the same thing, quietly: “I didn’t know it could feel like this.”
Dr Anand Chandrasegaran, a consultant anesthesiologist and critical care specialist who has spent much of his medical career sitting beside people at their most vulnerable — in pain, in fear, and in moments where control feels lost. You can learn more about him through his website here.
